DEVELOPMENT

THE NICE GIRL SYNDROME 

              I grew up a people please,  it sank into me from childhood that the thoughts of others and my actions at all times needed a synchronization. Before I made my decisions, I would weigh out how it would affect others and change their thoughts about me. Any decision that
faulted was not taken. .

              I built myself completely around others expectations, from the way I looked, to my friends,  my relationships,  personality and more.  When people would ask me about myself, what I liked,  what pisses me off, I gave out answers carefully but they weren't always the same for everyone, so I had multiple personality. I became an expert at analysing people and situations, so I could figure out the person I needed to be around them to earn their vote of likeness. I had no true self.
            The journey to myself discovery came in early last year,when I got stuck between two opinions that would change my life for for eternity, it was really hard to choose between myself, my life and the people I had always pleased. I spent so much time trying to get everyone to accept me that I never figured out what's best for me.
Surprisingly, I figured out, it's a good thing to drive people away! Yeah you heard that right.
As you "drive people away", you only get closer to your ideal people, those who love you, who want to be close to you,who love you, who truly value you, are one step closer.
                   Being disliked by someone is simply a byproduct of being authentic to who you truly are.

Skillfully wrought 

A mirror can be our best friend or our worst enemy. Like a fun house mirror,  we often carry a distorted image of yourself,  forgetting that the special quality that makes us who we are is found in no other human being on earth. Maybe it's the way we tilt our head when we talk, or the way we burst into laughter at unexpected moments. Perhaps others see a sparkel in our eyes that we never knew was there. Beyond the physical,  we each posses qualities that make us a true original.  God said so,  and his workmanship is marvelous.